Lindsay wants coffee bad. But Lindsay does not want to caffeinate the little tadpole growing in her belly. There is no decaf in the house and New Zealand coffee shops do not sell decaf. They only sell espresso drinks, like "long black" and "flat white."
The solution:
Starbucks! While this journey into assimilation has included foregoing American corporate behemoths like Starbucks, these are not ordinary times. Lindsay is pregnant now, and all bets are off. Lindsay remembers that Starbucks sells American-style, filter coffee and that they probably do decaf too. Lindsay heads straight to one of Christchurch CBD's two Starbucks.
The scene:
A virtually empty Starbucks at 8:15am. A strange sight. The Phoenix Starbucks would have had a line out the door at this time. Still, it's the same familiar and oddly comforting Starbucks that I know and (used to) love.
Lindsay: Do you do decaf coffee?
Barista: Yes, we do.
Lindsay: Great! I'd like a tall one please.
Barista: Ok, what drink would you like?
Lindsay: didn't we just cover this? (out loud:) Just a decaf coffee please.
Barista: Right, what drink?
Lindsay: ...
Barista: A tall black?
Lindsay: No, just a decaf drip coffee please.
Barista: Oh, we don't do that.
And there's the rub. "Coffee" in New Zealand doesn't mean American-style filter coffee - that kind of coffee is almost non-existent here. "Coffee" means either an espresso drink or even instant coffee (blech!).
Of course I knew this, but in Starbucks I thought I could order a coffee. In Starbucks, the freaking American Embassy of coffee shops, you would think you could ask for a coffee and be understood. But alas, no. You can't.
Lindsay: I'll have a decaf Americano please...
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